#1- girlfriend syndrome
Girlfriend syndrome- Although not something completely real is a term that my friends and I use. The concept of this syndrome is something that I feel at times as a woman in a heterosexual relationship. (With this I am not saying that it is limited to women with male partners for this post I will be speaking from my own experience.) This concept is a topic that I and my dear confidence often talk about. Am I cool enough to be with this man, or am I his girlfriend? Girlfriend syndrome is the feeling that when everything is said and done you are left as _____'s girlfriend. Sometimes I have caught myself feeling that no matter how much I like something or know something there is a man out there who knows more and wants to let me know he knows more. Most often this feeling is attached to a knowledge of some form of media, movies, music, etc. It can feel that no matter how much music you listen to or how many movies you watch you will never be able to catch up and know these things too as well as be viewed as a peer. I also share this feeling when I go to my boyfriend's shows. I feel that when I travel to see him, when I stay after the set, and when I talk to anyone there I don't get to be a "fan" or "music enjoyer" I am a "groupie". This idea of groupie to me, feels in the same way that women are bitches, whores, and sluts. But there is no equal masculine term. I am the girl standing around and no matter how much I go and how much I stream other artists related I will never be in a circle since I am dating a member of the scene. Something that I am working on is making sure that I do not allow these thoughts to cloud my thoughts. I can not control what others think but I can control what I think. I do not even know if that is what these people are thinking. I am making assumptions that are based on insecurity. I would not allow a friend to tell me this and allow them to continue with these thoughts. Moving forward I can not let these, what if? control my narrative. I know what media I like. I know fun facts I know things! I do not need to know everything to be respected. But if I respect myself I don't need to worry stupid men.
